mugenmine: (John Watson)
Do (No) Harm
Draft 0/Chapter 2
@ 2500

This is very hard. Not that I'm surprised that it's hard, it's more like making an observation. Writing a long form anything, well that's hard... Much like all beginnings, or at least my attempts at beginnings they're always a mess. I'm once again parachuting blindfolded onto a moving train, the analogy still works. It will always work.  I wrote/aborted four starts before my friend told me to skip chapter 1 and go to chapter 2... If there was a text hug app I would have launched it at her. I switched to chapter 2. (It was so simple!)

So I'm struggling with a lot of things right now, just writing again after a three month hiatus adds to the pain of it.  I'm trying to sort out the voice, the POV. I'm writing a close (and younger) John POV as it's what I tend to do, but writing a close POV from a character who almost out of his head due to being in a horrible situation for years makes trying to get a clear view of what is outside of his head a bit difficult. I think I might have to back off a bit, like a semi close POV so I can make the world vivid but be in the head of someone who literally sees the world muted and muzzy. I'm still struggling with the writing of it. Juggling the shifts in his perception, going from almost a Sherlock like clarity to existing within a fog. I can't write him like I see him or there wont be much there, there... and yet there has to be a contrast to the eventual transformation that will come as his situation changes...  Not easy for me!! But it will be good for me. It's a writing puzzle. I just hope it doesn't suck. It feels sucky right now. But I have goals!

So I guess I'm just trying writing it out. I'm trying to develop John, and really work on making the main antagonist, Sebastian Moran, not so very black and white, the things he does are so fundamentally horrid, yet there has to be light/shade in him or else character fail... Still trying to get my head around his motivations and his goals, and also develop two smaller characters as well  at the moment who are a part of this John/Moran muddle. All in an extremely alternate, alternate universe. I don't even want to think about how I'm going to tackle Sherlock in all of this...  he will come with a whole slew of challanges and things that make him difficult to write... but he doesn't show up for quite some time...

I think I need to do this more often/again. It's helping me get my head around all of the crap I'm trying to figure out, even if I don't have any answers. For now all I can do is just continue with the draft zero and go back and fill in when I start to sort things out. Also fuck me, fight writing is hard, and there is soooooo much fight writing that will need to be done. Why did I think this would be easy?
mugenmine: (John Watson)
Stuck: Day 4?-
Chapters: 3 (draft 2)
Total @13.7K

Chapter three is kicking my ass. Chapter two kicked my ass and as expected this one is as well. I'm not good at writing (out of 221B) setting and or action and this scene has a ton of both. I'm doing it because I want to make myself do it, but holy hell it's not fun. I might make myself write the entire next story outside of 221B just for the exercise of it. Its odd though, when I write not Sherlock fic, I can do the setting thing fine,

The entire chapter (2 scenes) is currently at 1500 words which is ridiculous, The shortness of it is kind of telltale that I skirted over it during conception. So now that I'm editing it, so much addition and rewriting has to be done. I've flipped the setting from one type of club to another less generic type of club (I know... I know...) and now I just need to add bits until the end. My goal is to get another 1500 on this thing.  Both scenes are waaaay too bare bones. Ugh, I'm procrastinating right now by writing this instead of working on the fic, but I can't stop until I hit my 500 so I best get back to it. Kicking me in the ass this damn thing is. It's so not there yet. And I wonder if I can get it to a state where I'll be happy with it. Hating chapter 3 right now... Looking forward to you, chapter 4.

Ugh, this is typical. I rewrite everything like a mad person. I seriously think though, that after this draft it will be maybe 65% there. Currently hovering at 50%... But wow, this edit is taking a long time. Eleven Days! The only thing that is making me feel somewhat productive is working the other two stories. If I wasn't working on those I might be pulling my hair out. I do need a hair cut...

Shit, back to it.


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January 2016

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