mugenmine | Entries tagged with monkey mood

I'm With You

Chapter 2
words: 7500

I've hit that point where all words are currently horrible. No seriously, they are. I know when it's super bad. This big fight scene that I had been looking forward to write is kicking me in the ass instead. I should take notes on my own ass kicking by words and translate that somehow back on the page. There is no inspired writing happening here. The setting is bad, characters bad, dialogue bad, motivation bad, action bad and well all just bad.

At this point I'm just writing from point A to point B just to get over this ten foot tall hurdle of crap. Chapter two scares the shit out of me it's so bad. Chapter one, arguably less craptacular, definitely not good. But yeah even though it's been sucking I'm still pushing through with my hazmat suit zipped up tight. I think I have maybe 1-1.5K before I fall back into something possibly less crap. So yeah. if I wasn't afraid of doing forty-five rounds of rewriting and editing, I might jump out a window right now.

I think the bones are okay and that's what's making me hang on right now. Hard to tell. I could just be crazy. Though I mean seriously, I doubt I've read a worst fight scene than what I have now. I hate everything about my writing right now, and am quite certain that everyone will as well. In other news, this is just part of the process.

Fuck you chapter two! (and one as well right now, ugh just awful...)

Also it seems like I'm back to blogging about writing, which means that I'm writing. Feel free to ignore, this is just me coping/processing how hard writing is for me.

Current Mood: frustrated

Stuck

Draft 5
Chapter 5 @ 18063

Managed to get through most of chapter 5 this weekend. I'm down to 3 more pages but there needs to be some serious reworking done on those three and I just grew a bit tired. Balancing the transition between hesitation and agreement is still a bit up in the air, but with each pass I grow a little closer to what I want to say. (words you not work so good!)

I'm feeling a bit of the "have I gotten worse" syndrome that was talked about in tumblr_refuge the other week. I feel this one is weaker than the ones that came before and I'm not sure how to fix it. Everything feels a little "white room syndromey" which is the problem of not giving a sense of the space. It might be because I'm writing about 221B and that in itself is a known entity, but not having the desciption of things on the page sometimes makes me feel like everything is a bit barren. I know my style is simple prose but it all feels a bit too simple.

The read aloud cleanup round is helping a bit. I'm adding as I go to the spaces that feel a little thin and hopefully when I'm done it will be a bit thicker. I think I've been reading a bit too much of the lush prose lately and it's making me feel significantly "un-lush". But at the same time I kinda want to call it a day and kick the fucker out the door. I think that is an official stage in the writing process.

Hopefully I can finish up chapter 5 today and jump feet first into the final chapter 6 romp. That's always been the most together of the chapters so hopefully it won't be too painful. Must finish soon. I'm aiming for 75% good for this one. A highish middling...

Stuck: Day 4?-
Chapters: 3 (draft 2)
Total @14.7K

The placeholder title of this story is ringing true. Today I'm feeling stuck. Terribly so. I've been attempting to edit and hitting the "pointless" wall. I'm going to chalk it up to a monkey mood though. Which is my shorthand for irrational angst. I think it's a little bit of the "wait, what am I doing? how much time are you spending on this thing" feelings that creep up on occasion. Also chalking those up to part of the process. So instead of beating myself over my head with my pen and tearing my draft into confetti (which would be awkward as I'm at work right now) I'm blogging. Working it out.

Sometimes I wonder why I try to tell these particular stories. They seem to me as very narrow in scope and noodley. Certainly you must too? Wonder why you pick the things you write about? What drives you to your choices, in character, place, subject matter. Especially in this shared universe that many of us work in. It's really interesting. Is it RTYI? Do they just pop randomly in your head? A theme that interests you? Why do you noodle on what you do?

Current Mood: moody

Stuck: Day 7
Chapter: ?
Total 3,196

The words are flowing. 500 a day. Limiting myself to about 500 a day is helping with knowing I have a reserve for tomorrow, and not overdoing it on my back (in the chair). The thing is that they're not really good words. Those will hopefully come later when I'm all out of crappy words. I'm purposefully (attempting to) not look back for fear of disappointment and the gnashing of the teeth. I believe I'm right on schedule with my early onset pre-first draft angst.
( Read more... )

( puttering along )

Current Mood: blah

( idle days such as these can- )

( Selfish love )

Current Mood: tired

( Slog today. )

( my monkey moods )

Current Mood: disappointed
Current Location: chair
Current Music: Doubt - Stereolab

S	M	T	W	T	F	S
1	2	3	4	5	6	7
8	9	10	11	12	13	14
15	16	17	18	19	20	21
22	23	24	25	26	27	28
29	30	31

Where I place the fics

Entries tagged with monkey mood

I’ll signal when I have something.

Trust me.

Nondescript things.

He could find another.

Are you going to let me speak now? Big Brat +523

He struggled to compensate for the imposed angles. Big Brat +756

I want your focus here, on me. Big Brat +603

Wee break up ahead I think. Big Brat +500

Of to a less than stellar start

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August 2021

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